When it comes to overcoming the paralyzing effects of codependency, your best bet is to try 12 steps codependency. First established by Codependents Anonymous, this method will help enormously when it comes to learning more about yourself and your own abilities.

 

What is codependency? Essentially, it's the need to influence the lives of others out of an extreme fear of rejection, abandonment, or punishment. Codependents often use this mentality as a defense mechanism from when they were children living in a dysfunctional family. Rather than face their parents' disappointment, rejection, or punishment, they sought to anticipate their needs as much as they possibly could. A significant part of the 12 steps codependency process is acknowledging that this mentality is indeed a problem and contributes to unhealthy relationships.

 

When it comes to using 12 steps codependency, there are two types of codependents to consider. The first is someone who constantly bends over backwards to serve others. This can be the needy friend in a group who always donates lunch money or does everyone's homework. This could also be the housewife who constantly does everything she can to please her husband at the sake of her health, mental wellbeing, and dignity. Codependents of this nature often don't know or like themselves well enough to behave in any other way--they validate their existences on the well being of others. If left untreated, this type of codependent may develop extreme depression, anxiety, or resentment. One of the steps in 12 steps codependency is recognizing this behavior for what it really is: a destructive, humiliating lifestyle.

 

The other type of codependent is one who focuses on control. An example of this type of codependent is the husband who insists on deciding what his wife will wear or eat for the day. He will control her spending money and insist that she do everything his way. Codependents of this nature don't always do this to be cruel--they simply believe that their way is best and that their partner can't survive without their help. As a result, when their advice is rejected, they feel angry, defensive, and hurt. Another part of the 12 steps codependency is acknowledging that this behavior is harmful for you and for those around you.

 

As you learn more about why codependents behave the way they do, you'll understand the importance of the 12 step codependency process. Along with providing you with a specific list to follow, you'll also understand the significance of the order of the tasks involved. The more you work at it, the easier it will become. Codependency 12 step organizations also have the benefit of having a sympathetic group to work with as well, which, along with individual counseling, can do wonders for helping you stop this destructive mentality. Learn more about 12 steps codependency plans today!